On Wednesday

I found myself stopping into the Pilsner as my pal Marke was hosting a Guardian happy hour party. The event was co-sponsored by Good Vibrations, purveyors of sex toys. They had some sort of wheel of dildos that you spun to win a prize. People were lined up for that thing; many of them old Asian ladies who must have read somewhere that there would be free stuff at this event, because they're not the usual gay bar crowd.

Good Vibrations also littered the place with their name brand extra-wide sized condoms. As in, they taped them everywhere- to the jukebox and ATM and on the bar stools and lined them up every three inches along the bar. If everyone in the bar had sex with everyone else in the bar, they wouldn't have gone through all the condoms there. It was a bit of overkill.

Marke came over to say howdy. He asked me if I had noticed all the condoms, and if I had noticed that they were all extra-wide.

Was he calling me fat?