Shopping!

Fans, you may not know that I don't enjoy shopping anymore. I haven't been into it since about 2000, when I realized I had so many clothes (especially ironic t-shirts) that it was just stupid to buy anymore. So I stopped going to clothing stores.

A couple of years later, I realized that shopping is like eating at fast-food restaurants and watching television: after you rid yourself of the habit of doing it, you don't miss it at all. In fact, life is much simpler, and I have more time for smoking crack.

But like most rules, there is an exception to this one. I love shopping in sports stores. Especially the giant sports/camping/bicycle/lawn furniture/skateboard stores that carry everything having to do with being outdoors. They're the only ads (besides Walgreens) I read in the Sunday paper (that inspired this blog entry). I already own a fair amount of sporting equipment for somebody who doesn't leave the house all that much.

In my dream reality I'd wear nothing but matching track suits (like old Italian guys in New York), have a big yard with a tent, inflatable pool, horseshoe pit, croquet set, jarts (I'd have to buy them on the black market, as they're illegal now), trampoline, paintball and archery sets, ultra-deluxe grill (though as a vegetarian, it would be totally useless), as well as a low-tech home gym/dance studio (because dancing totally counts as exercise).

I'm pretty sure this is some sort of genetic male thing, because I'm not a gadget freak and I'm not all that big on repetitive activities outside of barhopping. And what's up with the grilling?