My not-so-beautiful laundrette
I forgot not to do laundry first-thing Monday mornings, because that's when Bothersome Crazy is there. She's this nutjob who obsessively does her laundry, complains about the price, says, "I didn't mean to bother you," and "you HAVE TO!," over and over again, and doesn't shut up the whole time. I've been at the laundromat about ten times when she's been there, and it's always the same routine.
The morning started well, with only two people finishing up their laundry when I arrived. (The good thing about insomnia is you get to the laundromat before the Mexican mothers who show up after walking the kids to school. Them ladies got lots of clothes and take up all the machines.) But just as the last guy gathered up his sack of clothes to leave, in walked Bothersome Crazy. And I was the only person there for her to talk to. I said to myself, "Fuuuuuuuck."
On the other hand, this was the perfect opportunity to test out a theory. I've been working on a book proposal about living in the ghetto and how to deal with its various inhabitants. My theory is that with crazy people, as with drunks, if you don't give them an opening they'll leave you alone. If you acknowledge them or make eye contact, they'll annoy you to no end.
In the past I've been barely responsive to Bothersome Crazy, but she always had other people in the laundromat to annoy so she didn't need me. Today it was one on one. I took my book to the back of the room near where my dryers were and faced the wall, leaving her at the washers up front. I could sense her looking for an opening to launch into her usual tirade.
She mumbled quietly to herself for a while, then began doing things to get me to turn around and look at her. She opened and closed the washing machine several times, sighed loudly, and dropped change. I didn't move. After ten minutes or so of this she could hold out no longer.
"Excuse me sir, I don't mean to bother you. What's wrong with these machines?"
Without turning I said, "I don't know."
There was nothing wrong with the machines. I had just used them.
Amazingly, my plan worked. She did not bother me again. I heard her go outdoors to smoke a cigarette, which from past experience I know she does directly outside the doorway so all the smoke blows right back inside. But I also know this: never try to reason with a crazy person. It's easier to be annoyed by what they're doing than to be subjected to their insane ranting response when you tell them not to do it.
As I was folding my clothes, a guy came in to use the change machine that is located near where I was standing. As he was attempting to feed his dollar in, I sneezed. Bothersome Crazy thought that the sneeze came from him and seized upon it.
"Terrible weather, isn't it? But you still have to do your laundry. You HAVE TO! I do, anyway. You HAVE TO! Make sure you're feeding the dollar in head first. Use the other machine. I just used it. I don't mean to bother you, sir. I just used it and I was trying to help. I didn't mean to bother you. You have to warsh your clothes but it's so expensive! Seventy-five cents for soap- that's a lot of money. But you have to get clean- you HAVE TO!"
I'm pretty sure the guy she was talking to didn't speak English. But that doesn't matter to a crazy person. Any opening will do- even a sneeze.
The morning started well, with only two people finishing up their laundry when I arrived. (The good thing about insomnia is you get to the laundromat before the Mexican mothers who show up after walking the kids to school. Them ladies got lots of clothes and take up all the machines.) But just as the last guy gathered up his sack of clothes to leave, in walked Bothersome Crazy. And I was the only person there for her to talk to. I said to myself, "Fuuuuuuuck."
On the other hand, this was the perfect opportunity to test out a theory. I've been working on a book proposal about living in the ghetto and how to deal with its various inhabitants. My theory is that with crazy people, as with drunks, if you don't give them an opening they'll leave you alone. If you acknowledge them or make eye contact, they'll annoy you to no end.
In the past I've been barely responsive to Bothersome Crazy, but she always had other people in the laundromat to annoy so she didn't need me. Today it was one on one. I took my book to the back of the room near where my dryers were and faced the wall, leaving her at the washers up front. I could sense her looking for an opening to launch into her usual tirade.
She mumbled quietly to herself for a while, then began doing things to get me to turn around and look at her. She opened and closed the washing machine several times, sighed loudly, and dropped change. I didn't move. After ten minutes or so of this she could hold out no longer.
"Excuse me sir, I don't mean to bother you. What's wrong with these machines?"
Without turning I said, "I don't know."
There was nothing wrong with the machines. I had just used them.
Amazingly, my plan worked. She did not bother me again. I heard her go outdoors to smoke a cigarette, which from past experience I know she does directly outside the doorway so all the smoke blows right back inside. But I also know this: never try to reason with a crazy person. It's easier to be annoyed by what they're doing than to be subjected to their insane ranting response when you tell them not to do it.
As I was folding my clothes, a guy came in to use the change machine that is located near where I was standing. As he was attempting to feed his dollar in, I sneezed. Bothersome Crazy thought that the sneeze came from him and seized upon it.
"Terrible weather, isn't it? But you still have to do your laundry. You HAVE TO! I do, anyway. You HAVE TO! Make sure you're feeding the dollar in head first. Use the other machine. I just used it. I don't mean to bother you, sir. I just used it and I was trying to help. I didn't mean to bother you. You have to warsh your clothes but it's so expensive! Seventy-five cents for soap- that's a lot of money. But you have to get clean- you HAVE TO!"
I'm pretty sure the guy she was talking to didn't speak English. But that doesn't matter to a crazy person. Any opening will do- even a sneeze.
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