The Tell Tale Telephone
I have this janky cordless phone that always falls off the wall stand but since it weighs about 80 pounds it has never broken, though it's nearly fractured a couple of my toes. Well, finally the last bit of plastic that kept it on the wall stand broke off, and it was time for it to go away.
As I'm ever-so-slightly anal retentive, I wanted to keep the phone in case the replacement phone I put up breaks, despite the fact that I have another phone in the office and a corded phone to use in case of earthquake power outages. (I didn't think this decision out well.)
The broken phone has a "feature" that it beeps at you every 20 seconds to tell you that the battery is low or if the base is not properly connected. Thus in actual power outages, the phone beeps at you to tell you there's a power outage. THANKS PHONE, I KNOW.
So I put the broken phone in a plastic Ziploc bag and stored it in the furthest back part of my closet and shut the closet doors. From the living room, I couldn't hear it beeping at me to let me know that it's in the closet and NOT HAPPY ABOUT IT. But then after I fell asleep and it was the quiet hours of the night, I could hear it beeping, beeping, beeping.
It was like Vietnamese water torture. WHEN WILL THE NEXT BEEP COME? Beep! THERE IT IS. NOW JUST ANOTHER TWENTY SECONDS. IT SHOULD BE ANYTIME NOW.... I GUESS MAYBE IT STOPP-Beep! DAMNIT!
I let this go on for several hours in the morning while placing pillows over my head in an attempt to block it out. This didn't work, because I'd find myself listening for it.
Eventually I got up and started working. I relocated the phone from the back of the closet to beneath the kitchen sink, further away from my desk. But oh, I could still hear it. Beep! I was working away at my computer, thinking that I was used to it now, but Beep! really getting stressed out about the story I was writing. I found it Beep! hard to concentrate and I kept getting angrier Beep! and soon I was stamping around and swearing and Beep! I couldn 't take it anymore!
Then I realized I could just take out the fucking battery and it would stop beeping.
As I'm ever-so-slightly anal retentive, I wanted to keep the phone in case the replacement phone I put up breaks, despite the fact that I have another phone in the office and a corded phone to use in case of earthquake power outages. (I didn't think this decision out well.)
The broken phone has a "feature" that it beeps at you every 20 seconds to tell you that the battery is low or if the base is not properly connected. Thus in actual power outages, the phone beeps at you to tell you there's a power outage. THANKS PHONE, I KNOW.
So I put the broken phone in a plastic Ziploc bag and stored it in the furthest back part of my closet and shut the closet doors. From the living room, I couldn't hear it beeping at me to let me know that it's in the closet and NOT HAPPY ABOUT IT. But then after I fell asleep and it was the quiet hours of the night, I could hear it beeping, beeping, beeping.
It was like Vietnamese water torture. WHEN WILL THE NEXT BEEP COME? Beep! THERE IT IS. NOW JUST ANOTHER TWENTY SECONDS. IT SHOULD BE ANYTIME NOW.... I GUESS MAYBE IT STOPP-Beep! DAMNIT!
I let this go on for several hours in the morning while placing pillows over my head in an attempt to block it out. This didn't work, because I'd find myself listening for it.
Eventually I got up and started working. I relocated the phone from the back of the closet to beneath the kitchen sink, further away from my desk. But oh, I could still hear it. Beep! I was working away at my computer, thinking that I was used to it now, but Beep! really getting stressed out about the story I was writing. I found it Beep! hard to concentrate and I kept getting angrier Beep! and soon I was stamping around and swearing and Beep! I couldn 't take it anymore!
Then I realized I could just take out the fucking battery and it would stop beeping.
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