My new friend

I have a new friend who is the younger sister of an old friend. The new friend's name is Rachel, and she just moved out here to SF after getting a PhD from Yale. Now, that might lead you to believe that Rachel is a fiercely competent and independent woman.

Oh, would that were true! In the short time I've known her she's misplaced phones, shopping lists, and cars, and left a shopping cart at the checkout counter. And that was in one four hour period. She buys furniture she can't move and other furniture she can't assemble. I told her I would be calling her Dr. Retard on the internet and she didn't seem to mind.

Most of the time I've known Dr. Retard I've been assisting her in one way or another: mixing her favorite cocktails, hauling furniture she needed moved in the middle of my workday, and then loading and carrying her 15 boxes of unassembled furniture into her apartment. She rented a van to go to Ikea and I joined her for shopping only to end up doing hard labor, and yet she insists that by letting me come along she was doing me a favor.

When I indicated that I was not going to assemble said furniture (bed frame and dresser and step stool and nightstand) for her despite her promised reward of "a cocktail," she quickly began plotting how she might get someone else to do it. Her plan seems to involve starting to date someone handy.

Her ability to get other people (especially me) to do things for her is impressive. If it weren't for the constant confusion, in ability to follow directions, and forgetfulness, I would think she was actually pretty clever.