The war on ants

When it rains, ants invade my apartment through the kitchen and/or bathroom windows. In fact, I can predict when it's going to rain because suddenly there are ants everywhere. They've been particularly obnoxious this year, and I only have to have the window open for an hour or two for them to invade. How they do it, I don't know, but the day after I have the window open, there are hundreds of little tiny ants forming a line along the sink or bathtub. It's like they see the open window and hurl an egg through it.

So I'm on day three of trying to kill off the ants from my latest infestation. I just wipe them with a sponge into the sink, trying to avoid using stanky chemical spray for as long as possible. I noticed that a lot of them seemed to be hanging around the blender. Then I figured out that they were creating a home inside the blender where the motor is.

That's prettymuch the opposite of awesome, but it's not the first time my small appliances have been infested. In Boston many years ago, a family of cockroaches had taken up residence inside my answering machine. And while my answering machine just had to go, at least I can wash out the inside of the blender and drown the ants.

Who wants frozen margaritas?

Cintra takes down carrots

Cintra Wilson, who is motherfreaking hilarious, makes fun of the SF store Carrots in her New York Times Critical Shopper story.

The piece was awesome, but I couldn't disagree more with this statement:

Babylon by the Bay, with its delirious views, voluptuous palm trees and cherry vintage tram cars, is truly the pinup girl of American cities, to the point of having the unintentionally surreal gloss of TV dramas set in the ’40s: it’s all a little too clean. The cars are straight from the O.C.D. collector’s garage; the Victorians have had cosmetic procedures; even the trees look moussed. San Francisco now looks like a Las Vegas luxury casino called “San Francisco.”

Clean? Seriously? Yeah it's very pretty, but this city is filthy, usually smells of urine and human feces, and is the place where personal hygiene goes to die. Maybe she was here when it was raining.

Boomers

LOL.

Step away from the internet

I've been smoking news crack lately, and I can't get enough. Pakistan on the brink of hostile takeover? Tiger mauling? Universal health insurance legislation? I read the stories then obsessively check for updates and read the user comments. Of course, I have all the answers. I'm just waiting for people to reach my conclusions.

1. Pakistan needs to get de-nuked asap. It doesn't matter which unethical crazy is in power. We need to tell Musharraf he can stall elections for a little while and we'll de-nukify Pakistan for him in the meantime.

2. Tiger mauling: I think what they're saying is the tiger jumped over a 33-foot-wide moat AND a 12-foot-high wall at the far side of the moat. That's fucking awesome!

3. Tiger mauling, part II: People want to figure out if the kids were 'taunting' the tiger. Sticking a tiger in a cage is taunting it. Saying "Hey tiger look at me!" is only teasing.

4. SF's universal health care plan: It seems the problem with it is only in the employer contribution part. There's no reason not to get on with the rest of it in the meantime.

White (Tiger) Christmas

The city, which helps fund the zoo, is currently facing a lawsuit from Komejan and is assessing today whether it is at all liable for the Christmas Day mauling, officials said.

CHRISTMASDAYMAULING.COM is available!

Pokey

People who blog about dreams are stupid, but I had this awesome dream last night. I had killed all these people and hid the bodies inside my waterbed and filled it up with water. The plan worked perfectly, except when I would lay on the waterbed the noses of the dead people would poke me in the back.