The good thing about getting fatter...

... is that I'm also getting warmer.

Then again, I'm also getting older, so maybe it's just menopause.

Deep thoughts

I was just laying down in the living room in a moment of quiet reflection. I took a deep breath and was enjoying the fresh, mountain-air scent of the carpet when I realized that the scent came from the odor crystals in the cat litter, and therefore the cat had probably dragged his butt post-poop along the carpet on this very spot.

See what you get for thinking?

Hasselbob

Sorry for my lack of posts lately. I have a very demanding cat. Recent observations:

- Nobody told me Hasselhoff was in the Spongebob Squarepants movie! Baywatch and Spongebob are two of my very favorite things. On the other hand, it was such a pleasant surprise!

- Don Imus. Umm, who? Without ever having heard of the dude, I am always happy to see another self-righteous Boomer get shitcanned.

- Sunshine must be good for you. Whenever I leave the house, which is rarely, I feel like a winner.

- I turned 36 a few days ago. That's old enough that I'm embarrassed by it. Time to start lying about my age.

- I am reading The Sea, by John Banville. It won a Booker. It rocks.

- Rent-a-cat is suspicious when I take a bath. He pokes his head in and out of the bathroom spying on me. It's like we're in a spy movie and he's all, "I've got a real bad feeling about this!"

- I bought some more fish for my fish tank. Let the death watch begin!

What I learned from the news today

That presidential candidate John Edwards' wife has cancer. Also, that John Edwards is running for president.

What's wrong with this list?

It wasn't until I got to the grocery store that I realized my grocery shopping list didn't include any actual food.

Even in dreams, it was clunky

I had a dream last night that I was using the new Microsoft Vista operating system. Why?

I am the stupidest

Just now, I was feeling too lazy to go to the convenience store for the junk food I so wrongfully crave.

Then to psych myself up, I said to myself, " YOU CAN DO IT! IT'LL BE LIKE GOING ON AN ADVENTURE!"

(I always talk to myself in capslock.)

Then I responded, "ADVENTURE? AN ADVENTURE SOUNDS AWESOME!" forgetting that I was the one who just gave myself the pep talk.

Maybe I should leave the house more.