Step away from the internet

I've been smoking news crack lately, and I can't get enough. Pakistan on the brink of hostile takeover? Tiger mauling? Universal health insurance legislation? I read the stories then obsessively check for updates and read the user comments. Of course, I have all the answers. I'm just waiting for people to reach my conclusions.

1. Pakistan needs to get de-nuked asap. It doesn't matter which unethical crazy is in power. We need to tell Musharraf he can stall elections for a little while and we'll de-nukify Pakistan for him in the meantime.

2. Tiger mauling: I think what they're saying is the tiger jumped over a 33-foot-wide moat AND a 12-foot-high wall at the far side of the moat. That's fucking awesome!

3. Tiger mauling, part II: People want to figure out if the kids were 'taunting' the tiger. Sticking a tiger in a cage is taunting it. Saying "Hey tiger look at me!" is only teasing.

4. SF's universal health care plan: It seems the problem with it is only in the employer contribution part. There's no reason not to get on with the rest of it in the meantime.

Film nights

The San Francisco Neighborhood Theater Foundation is proud to announce the schedule for the fifth season of Film Night in the Park, San Francisco . The 2007 Film Night in the Park season is presented by Macy’s and features 8 great films in 3 spectacular outdoor venues – Washington Square Park , Dolores Park and Union Square . Last year’s Film Night in the Park series attracted over 16,000 attendees and this year’s line-up of films promises to be a real crowd pleaser.

The eclectic 2007 schedule features classics including THE GRADUATE and SUNSET BOULEVARD along with kitschy cult favorites HAIRSPRAY and 16 CANDLES. Film Night in the Park is possible thanks to the generous support of great sponsors including Macy’s, PG&E, Calistoga, S.F. Real Estate Agent Jim Fisher, The Bay Club, MJM Management Group, California Pacific Medical Center and the San Francisco Giants.

2007 Film Night in the Park Schedule
Saturday, 5/19,THE GRADUATE @ Washington Sq. Park , 8:00 PM, Presented with THD

Saturday, 6/2, HAIRSPRAY @ Dolores Park, 8:00 PM
Saturday, 6/30, CASABLANCA @ Union Square, 8:00 PM
Saturday, 7/21,SIXTEEN CANDLES @ Dolores Park, 8:00 PM
Saturday, 8/4, ANNIE HALL @ Union Square, 8:00 PM
Saturday, 8/25,8 1/2 @ Washington Sq. Park, 8:00 PM, Presented with THD

Saturday, 9/15, REBEL WITHOUT A CAUSE @ Union Square , 8:00 PM
Saturday, 10/06, SUNSET BOULEVARD @ Dolores Park, 8:00 PM

Join me on GLEE, see?

*update* I fixed the broken links. Stupid Camper.

Hey y'alls- I am now acting as sort of an ambassador to a new social networking website GLEE.com. It stands for Gay, Lesbian, and Everyone Else. So as long as you're part human, you're qualified to use it.

Why does the world need another social networking site, you ask? (I mean, besides the fact that Friendster is kind of over and MySpace is unusable crap that could be coded better by a 12-year old?) GLEE has two main sections, one for social stuff and the other for work stuff. Each of them has member profiles and groups and bulletin boards that run separately from each other. On the social side, there are also news stories, music and video, chat, photos, and all that jazz. So you can use it to find a date or find a job- or better yet find a date who actually has a job unlike those losers you usually go out with.

Also, if you've got something to promote- a band, a club night, a book, etc. it's a great place to do it.

Please do me a favor and check it out, sign up, and add me to your friends list (my user name: camper). It's one of those sites where the more people who use it the better it becomes, and I want to impress people with my huge number of friends. You know how I like being popular.

Trust Me

Two more friends of mine gave me the keys to their apartments this week. That brings up the total to six sets of other peoples' house keys I have. Having all this trust in me almost makes me want to go on a crystal meth-induced crime spree. That's normal, right?

An Inconvenient Film

I am watching An Inconvenient Truth, the Al Gore movie. While talking about environmental issues he sure says "I" a lot, as in "I did this." It seems like a campaign film. But anyway.

When he showed the chart of the increase in carbon dioxide in the atmosphere, I came up with another one of my great ideas: We need to launch plants into the upper atmosphere. They take in carbon dioxide and breathe out oxygen. Problem: solved!

Overall, I thought the film was very much like what I learned in college in 1990, but I guess a lot of people didn't take that class since this film appears to be all new information to so many people.

But okay, how do you make a white liberal film moreso? Let's fucking end it with a motherfucking lesbian motherfucking folk song by motherfucking Melissa Etheridge. Thanks!

Recycling Stuff

I always trade in my used ink jet printer cartridges for a free ream of paper at Office Depot. But for those of you who aren't near one of these programs, or are just lazy and usually throw them away, there is an easy way you can recycle them.

Go to this website and order free recycling envelopes, then you can mail in your used printer cartridges and cell phones. The website is sort of confusing and meant for bulk recycling, so you can always just call the 1-866-332-2234 number and ask them.