People who ask you what time it is

TIME TO GO BOTHER SOMEONE ELSE.

The woman who asked me for a quarter for coffee in front of Burger King this morning

Normally I would question whether the person would actually spend the money on coffee, but the fact that she was wearing a hospital gown with nothing on under it miles from any hospital made me pretty doubtful of her sincerity.

People who reach in front of you in the supermarket line to get a copy of the Enquirer

You just violated my personal space and I bet you're not even going to buy it. You just want to find out which aliens impregnated Angelina Jolie, and that's not worth risking your arm.

"Quirky" middle-aged ladies in unique scarves and hats

They're the first ones to snap under pressure.

The woman who had her kid selling the one-dollar homeless newspaper for her

And to think, some people say the homeless are lazy.

Teenagers who confuse the record store with an after-school rec center

Old people who walk slow on the treadmill while reading magazines

You're saying that you can't walk and read outside for fear of being hit by a car. I'm saying maybe this wouldn't be such a bad thing.

People who loofa in the gym shower

There should be a law against public exfoliation.

Parents who bring their children to the laundromat

It would be one thing if the kids helped out, but all they seem to do is whine, climb on things, and yell. Keep them locked in the closet like a responsible parent!

People who will do coke with you in the bathroom but make you leave when they have to pee

Maybe it's just me, but I think committing a felony together is a little more intimate than hearing you tinkle.

Happy couples browsing for housewares in Bed, Bath, & Beyond

Your sugary-sweet love is giving my brain a toothache.

Beggars who get in your face

Back it up, Cracky!

People who use their baby strollers as battering rams

EVERYBODY CLEAR A PATH! SHE HAS A BABY AND SHE KNOWS HOW TO USE IT!

People in restaurants who lean over as they're walking by to see what you're eating

As you can see, I'm having a giant plate of FUCK YOU.

People who put you on speakerphone when they're the only one in the room

Like I have two extra seconds to wait for it to click over between every sentence because you're too lazy to use your hands to hold up the phone. What are you doing anyway? Jerking off? Wiping your butt? Doing push-ups? How about you call me when you're done.

People who pack the gym after January 1

You're hogging the machines belonging to the real gym members. Admit that you're never ever going to be skinny or beautiful and give up now so I can get on the damn Stairmaster.

Tough- looking guys with full-sleeve tattoos sitting around talking about Barbra Streishand

False Advertising!