Guys who sit on opposite sides of the subway car then carry on a shouting conversation the whole ride

But thanks for sharing your thoughts on last night's television shows with all of us.

People on the dancefloor whom you turn sideways to let squeeze past you, who then decide to dance in the space you created

No parking on my dancefloor!

People wearing headphones at the gym who have no idea how loud they're gasping and grunting

Then again, maybe they're just singing along to a Prince record.

People who don't walk in a straight line down the sidewalk, making it difficult to pass them

It's not called a sidemeander!!!

People who state food orders as demands. "Give me the..."

Reason #324 why I don't work in the food service industry: I would smack any fucker who didn't ask nicely.

People who direct the barista to the exact danish they want to eat

"No, no, to the left. No my left. There, the one in the middle."

Families who stand bumbling at the counter like it's their first time out of the house

I would think between the five of you, you could figure out where to form the line. But I guess you're stupider in a group.

People who scratch excessively in public

Why are you making your dander my problem?

People who assume a particular Hate Blog entry refers to them

If I bothered to insult you, would that make you feel special?

People who slow down to avoid running over pigeons

The only valid excuse for not speeding up is not wanting to get blood on your tires.

Californians who say "Yes, definitely!" when they mean "Sorry, not interested."

People in this retarded state have 45 different ways of saying no, and all of them are affirmative phrases.

People who won't stop telling you it's your birthday

Okay, again, I was aware of what day it is. Thanks for the first time you mentioned it. Now can you just shut up?