People who introduce you to their "other half," when you know they're sleeping with half the town

When you're a sex addict in an open relationship, I think your partner is getting a bit less than half.

People who waddle

If you get so topheavy you can't even walk like a human being, maybe it's time to cut back on the doughnuts.

Creepy people who don't realize they're creepy

If you're dating highschoolers at your age, at least have the sense not to tell people about it like it's normal.

Cashiers who assume you're in no rush if you're shopping during the day

Hey Marlene, you want to finish up that conversation about your kids anytime soon so I can move up the fucking line?

People for whom "in 5 minutes" is actually 45 minutes

Have you noticed that there are only 160 minutes in your entire day? How do you get anything done?

People who sneeze then stare at you expecting you to say "God bless you."

Who do you think I am- Jesus?