People who don't speak ill of the dead

They're dead. Why do you still care what they think?

Peo-ple? With Califor-nia? Ac-cents?

You know what? That makes you sound? Like you don't understand? The words? That are coming out of your own mouth?

Bad drivers who aren't aware of it

AHHHHHHH! LET ME GET OUT AND WALK BEFORE YOU KILL ME!!!

Drivers who constantly honk the horn

Beep Beep! I have small penis issues!

People who treat servers like servants

Dude, you're being a dick. I'm going to spit in your meal if the waitress doesn't.

People waiting for restaurant tables who stand in front of the host desk in a clump

You're blocking the door and creating a fire hazard, despite the fact that someone should burn you for your idiocy. Put your name on the list and step the fuck aside!

People who hold their folded umbrella out behind them like a sheathed sword

Hey samurai, you're poking me with that thing.